Well, although I thought I had committed to letting John Parker "cry it out" a little bit last week (see previous post), I couldn't stick to it. I wasn't really following the plan (to progressively let him cry longer until we reached a maximum interval - in our case 15 minutes), and I was giving in after 5 minutes or so every time. I kept telling John that surely he was better off getting the pacifier right away when he started crying so he would go right back to sleep. The few times we had waited longer than 5 minutes, he woke himself completely up, and once, on a particularly bad night last week, John picked him up - a major no-no for trying to sleep train a baby. On this particularly bad night, John Parker went to bed around 845 or 9, cried out the first time at 1130pm, and every 20 to 30 minutes thereafter ALL NIGHT LONG, until 530am when he finally slept a 2 hour stretch (the only 2 hour stretch I slept all night). The next night was better - he only cried out once at 430am and went back to sleep as soon as we went in and placed his paci back in his mouth, and the night after that, he cried out 4 times, which has been a typical night for him.
Last night, we decided to really commit to the progressive crying method. Everyone has different opinions about parenting and "tough love", and trust me, I would rather just go scoop him up and put him in the bed with me and cuddle him until he slept. BUT, John and I made a commitment to ourselves not to co-sleep - mainly because John was in the bed with his parents until early childhood and also because we want to have more children - we definitely didn't want to be sleep training a toddler to sleep in his own room when we are expecting another baby in the future. I'm sure many readers will feel a controversial opinion about the method we have committed to trying, and I don't judge anyone for doing things differently in their own homes; however, we had to do something for the health and happiness of our baby and for our well-being as parents as well. Being EXHAUSTED is not conducive to working full-time and then having energy to play with a precious 6 month old who is exploring and learning new things EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Last night, he went to bed beautifully, as he always does, putting himself to sleep around 845 or 9pm. He cried out the first time around 330am. John and I had a decision to make, and in that moment, we decided to let him cry a little while. We let him cry for 5 minutes at first, and when John went to put in his pacifier, he didn't go back to sleep (he had woken himself up). We continued to wait another 10 minutes, and John went in to comfort him again (stayed in his room for about a minute, patted him, and put his paci in again). Still crying. The next 15 minutes was the worst 15 minutes of my life. I'm not kidding when I say it was worse than unmedicated childbirth. My heart was breaking, I was crying my eyes out, and John and I were praying, literally, that he would fall asleep. He was REALLY CRYING - sobbing, like I had never heard him cry before. I was doubting our decision, but John pushed forward, reminding me that giving up at that point would sabotage the whole night. Finally, the 15 minute interval ended, and John went in for a minute more of comfort. He finally went back to sleep after that check-in, but I didn't go back to sleep until 6am. I was so anxious that he would wake up again, and I didn't want to go through that again. He woke at 645am, and amazingly, within a couple of minutes he put himself back to sleep! He always eats between 730 and 8am, so he woke up at 8 for good, smiling as always, and I'm hoping tonight won't be as bad - maybe he will learn to self-soothe and not depend on us to go back to sleep.
Again, I know I'm opening myself up to a world of criticism, but after a month and a half of waking 1-8 times per night (averaging around 4 times), I defend the decision we made to let him realize he doesn't need US to help him go back to sleep. He is happy during the day and never really cries much, so hearing him cry was heartbreaking, and I hope the sleep training works!
Ally was sleeping 8-10 hours straight at 8 weeks, we were rocking her to sleep though. At 4 months we started sleeping training and letting her soothe herself to sleep. It was the best decision we've ever made, she hasn't woken up since then and she always soothes herself. At 6 months we started sleep training for naps. the naps took a few days of training, and it definitely wasn't easy, but it's worth it now. I truly believe teaching your baby to sleep is for the best!
ReplyDeleteGood luck Hailey, I hope everything goes well these next few nights, I know how frustrating it can be, but he will learn, I promise! :)
find something that will ease him back into sleep. Karly had one of those rainforest night light things that has water and nature sounds a soothing blue light that would put her right back to sleep. Claire has the little fisher price seahorse again ocean sounds and a soothing soft light. She likes to snuggle with it. I know it's frustrating, fortunately both of my kids sleep on their own find. You think perhaps its his acid reflux acting up again and that is why he is waking up so much? I'll pray for you I know it's hard to handle especially the first one. With Claire I am usually never quick to respond to her crying I'll be getting Karly juice or something usually so she can't get what she wants right away. But I agree, getting them on their own and sleeping on a schedule is magnificent. Karly was at bed at 8p and waking up at 8a until this past year when she became aware of the sunlight and the time change messed her up. Goodluck Momma, stick with it.
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